Please Observe.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Back on the road.

I think that walking has become more important and philosophical than I would have liked it to be. Well recently at least.

Each time I'm with people, enjoying myself thoroughly in their company, I'm suddenly not there anymore; I'm back on the road, walking towards wherever I'm headed. I hate it. It happens so fast that its scary. I'll be all "Wow, I'm finally here!" and suddenly that thought creeps into my head: You're not really here, Tejas.
I'm back on the road, far away from where I just was. I hate it. I guess it's the one time I hate being on the road, walking. And that experience is over.

Maybe that's why I like video so much. I love taking photos, many people do. Just so that we can hold on to the time that we were there. I've been on an overdose of photo-taking lately, just so desperate to capture every single moment that happens. I keep asking Anish whether he has brought his camera or not, scared whether I might lose whatever I have seen at that point. We all thrive on those memories; and to me its more than just nostalgia. I can't explain it; its more than that. More than just sitting back and looking at those photos and listening to emotional-thinky music. I want to be able to feel it all over again. I don't know.
I'm really confused.

And suddenly I realise I'm not there anymore , I just stop, and think "Oh crap."
But Before I know it, I'll close my eyes and I'll be somewhere else.

4 comments:

Harry said...

you're such an idiot! the road's great! it gets you somewhere else! when you stop and you're 'there' just relax and enjoy what comes to u however it does don't TRY and make the most of it as hard as ur making urself or ull ruin it. whatever uve had and however it affects u will never just go and photos do help but u dont need them, ull be fine man.have what u can and dont worry about losing out.it sucks to HAVE to take the road but its no good bitching about it either. u'll be fine.

Radhii said...

An especially nice post.
I can relate to the bit about your camera, except it IS nostalgia for me. So I can just look back at the pictures... and. hm. remember. But I guess everyone feels that way so..
About the road, I think I can fairly relate to that too. One moment u’re unconsciously thinking to yourself abt how much fun you’re having, and then on the drive/walk away …. it’s like… I was jus there. Ten minutes ago. Wow. I want to go back. But it really depends on where you’re going.
And if you don’t have anything to store that memory in, it feels like you’re going to lose it and you’ll do anything to keep it. I guess that’s another reason blogs rock, but not as much as pictures or actual material THINGS from then. like that may sound silly. but dumb stuff like my scrunchie from desert rock or that strange band thing i put on your hand out of randomness in the bus.
Well. I don’t know if that made much sense .. but. hha. Either way. Nice post.

Vaishali said...

u r realieee confused n this stuff haz left me thinkin 2 but still dsnt stop u frm bein confused
but yea,nice post

Anonymous said...

wow the craptic is sick of blogging. hahahhha